Life with a teenager isn't easy, for me to be honest, it's been an up-hill struggle.  I hear of parents having a beautiful relationship with their teenagers and often question my parenting abilities and personal ethos.  My problem is that I'm a control freak, there you go, I said it!!  I feel so much better now for the admission; Not!

Teenage years are ones of finding one-self, experimentation and settling into the real world, blah blah blah.  I don't seem to be doing anything different since my eldest could talk and walk.  instructing of the dangers, setting boundaries, instilling morals and a work ethic.  Talk talk talk.  I'm sorry to seem a little cynical but at this point I've hit that Eureka moment and there is nothing elating about it.  It won't end for a looooooong time yet, so suck it up!

Being a control freak isn't helping either so I have decided to stick to the basics and allow my son to find himself; as long as he finds himself on time, where he is supposed to be, dressed appropriately and speaking clearly at all times!  I'm kidding, sort of.  Those are my basics.  Punctuality, communication, attendance, integrity and appearance, is it so hard?
I love my son dearly and I have a lot of admiration for the young man he is becoming, I can see his potential and that makes my insides smile, but I also know him very well, he has a lack of confidence in his academic ability and he would take the easy way out if that was an option.  Funny thing is, he is just like me when it comes to self-doubt and like me, he needs to push through those barriers.  His major obstacle is he is lazy and complacent.  That, I feel is also my fault as he relies on me to be his safety net.

I wake him up for college,  I tell him it's time to wash his clothing and bedding, I bark his weekly orders out on a daily basis, I still check his homework, buy all his clothes (but I am his stylist!), remind him of his friends birthdays and organise his trips away and dictate where and how to hang pictures in his room.   His tutor informed me that his punctuality was endangering his place on his course, I marched him to class and was going to stay the full day and shadow him to all his lessons.  Too much?  I didn't do it though, although I have supervised him in that manner at primary and secondary school when his behaviour became unacceptable.  Problem is my son is now 18 and I have a 10 and 3 year old and an 8 month old baby.  I don't want that to be an excuse to 'abandon' parenting him but I do need to be there for the others as well.  It would all be soooo much easier if he would just do as he is told, you know like a robot and not like that one in IRobot, he had too much mind!!

Anyway, with my rambling over, for now, I will end with this, Your children will always be your children regardless of how old they are, but, they are also individuals within their own right, I guess once they are living with you they should adhere to the 'house rules' but you should hope and trust that you've put enough work into the formative years for them to be able to go into the world and be productive.  As much as I moan, if I ask my son to babysit his brothers, cook Sunday dinner or clean the kitchen and bathroom, he will do it, with a small grumble but nevertheless he has your back when you need him, that good quality will take him far, he is reliable and puts others before himself (I know he won't read this but I hope his friends won't!).  What I have begun to do when I feel overly protective is remember what I go through with my mother and I am sure she with hers.  I come from a line of autocratic parenting with first borns and I am attempting to break the cycle!


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It's been a month since the return to school and if your little ones school is as strict as mine, every newsletter since the beginning of term has had a large section dedicated to the importance of uniform and the strict rules surrounding it.  I fully support the uniform policy at our school, and, although I would personally prefer a more formal uniform, tie, blazer etc..  I am happy with the general look except for the 'track bottoms' my three year old, who is in the nursery, is required to wear.
I know that uniform is not supposed to be 'fashionable', but it is supposed to match and be smart, so why does he have to wear tracksuit bottoms with shoes?  The first time I read the uniform list I cringed.  What?  track, as in running on the, with shoes?  Notoriously children's school shoes look a little clownishly (is that even a word) big, add that to the fact that they are popping out at the end of their bodies under track bottoms elasticated at the ankle.  Ridiculous!  And certainly not smart.  They do now sell school shoes that look like trainers but those are forbidden at our school.  Why couldn't they wear grey trousers like the rest of the school? As a child stylist I could not let my son 'go down like that'.

 I read the uniform policy carefully, twice!  It states, navy blue tracksuit bottoms, that's it.  I searched high and low and found navy blue bottoms with a trouser style hem.  They are from Gap and have their logo at the top which is covered by his sweatshirt.  The general quality of the schools items aren't to my standard and, if I had an embroidery machine, I would buy my own plain items and customise, who would know!  Mmmm, in fact.....  I think I know someone who has a machine.  Maybe I'm a little snobbish in regards to clothing but I feel that the better the quality of materials, the longer the items will last and the longer they will retain the 'smart' look.

Please understand, I am also not a rebel, but good quality and styling is what makes smart, well smart, I should go around to schools and point this fact out to Headteachers and governors, it's definitely a trick they are missing!  With careful and subtle styling I believe I have managed to make my children stand out from the others and, my 10 year old is always picked out at the first assembly to showcase what the uniform should look like, result!  Next time you go to buy unfiorm for your son remember my top 5 tips below

1. Size.  I know you want your child's clothes to last but two sizes bigger?  One size bigger is enough, colours are likely to fade and sweaters either stretch or shrink so won't be that great looking for too long anyway.
2. Quantity.  I always buy five shirts and at least three sweaters.  The more often you wash the uniforms the worse for wear they will look.  If you can afford a full set of uniform for each day you will find they last longer and look better at the end of the year.
3. Re-purpose.  Boys and trouser knees!  They are always torn.  Have them altered into shorts for the summer months or try and have a go yourself it's quite simple.
4. Labelling.  Place labels in two different places in your child's clothing, that way there can be no dispute as to who's items are who's, if one label falls off there is always a back up!
5. Price.   You get what you pay for....  knitted items are subject to shrinkage and, if your uniforms have dark colours they will lose colour after regular washes.  Spend a bit more on knitted items and shoes they will last longer!